Notes from group therapy: relationships

SECRETS200-300Back in the day, I went to group therapy every week for eighteen months. It changed the way I looked at life, and I’ve credited it for “saving my life” in many respects. Being the perfectionist only child that I am, I took notes about the things I was learning, and later I typed them up.

I thought I’d share the notes with you in hopes that you too may discover something new.


Relationships are very fragile.

A Good relationship is a miracle. It takes the work of two committed adults.

If you are free not to be in a relationship, you are free to be in it.

For a relationship to work, that relationship must be more important than anything else that comes into it.

Negotiation is important for a relationship to work. There is no right way to do something. You must find the compromise that both partners can live with. No right compromise exists. Ask yourself, “how important is that to my partner?” Don’t ask if the compromise is right or wrong.

Everyone in a relationship needs time apart.

As a child, we don’t have role models of spouses. All we know is how to parent because our parents have “parented” us. Therefore, we relate to our spouse like a parent.

You can’t stay in the business world unless you work together as peers. The same goes for a relationship.

Commitment in marriage should be to your own personal growth.

Celebrate the differences in your partner. No one is like you.

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