Notes from group therapy: parenting and feelings

SECRETS200-300Back in the day, I went to group therapy every week for over a year. It changed the way I looked at life, and I’ve credited it for “saving my life” in many respects. Being the perfectionist only child that I am, I took notes about the things I was learning, and later I typed them up.

I thought I’d share the notes with you in hopes that you too may discover something new.

  • Parents are to help their children fit into the real world.
  • Most parents are terrorized by their own children.
  • Children should fit into their parents’ lives.
  • The goal of parenting is separation.
  • Feelings are okay—neither good or bad, just feelings.
  • I have the right to my own feelings.



  1. Hi Jan. The one note that resonates with me is, “The goal of parenting is separation.” Being at that point in my parenting life, I can see how true it is. It’s like the mama bird pushing the baby bird out of the nest, and trusting he can fly. My son is on his way to Afghanistan, and my heart is fluttering while I watch him prepare, but I know he’s going to be fine.

  2. Suzanne, I know you’ll worry. It comes with the job title – mother.

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